


Something beautiful

by sugarandspace



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23479069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarandspace/pseuds/sugarandspace
Summary: There are days when he can’t even look at a piano without feeling sick to his stomach or be overcome with anxiety, but then there are days when he wants to feel the keys under his fingers and hear the beautiful melodies in his ears. Days like today.
Relationships: Simon Lewis/Jace Wayland
Comments: 8
Kudos: 70





	Something beautiful

Jace’s hands move in what looks like effortless fluency as he presses the keys of the old piano in his room. He’s so focused on the music he doesn’t realize Simon has entered the room until he’s sitting next to him on the wide bench in front of the piano. Jace’s focus halts only for a moment, and then he’s back to playing, trying not to be distracted by Simon’s thigh against his.

Simon doesn’t speak until the song ends.

“You play beautifully,” he compliments. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“Your company is always welcome,” Jace tells his boyfriend and the smile he gets as a reward is near blinding, showing off Simon's sharp fangs in the least threatening way possible.

“I’m glad,” Simon replies and turns his attention to the instrument in front of them. He presses one of the keys and proceeds to play a short tune. “I didn’t know you knew how to play. You’ve been holding out on me Jace Herondale.”

It would have made sense to tell Simon, knowing how musical he is, but Jace’s own skill is not something he brings up often or something he likes to gloat about.

“Yeah, well,” he starts. “I don’t play often. It’s not really a skill I actively work on.” 

“Why is that?” Simon asks and his tone is genuinely curious. “I think you might be a better player than I am.”

“I wasn’t really allowed mistakes when I was learning,” Jace says and averts his eyes to the keys in front of them. Instantly he’s reminded of the time he spent with Michael Wayland who was adamant that his son learns how to play the instrument. I was supposed to teach him concentration and discipline. In the end, it did teach him that, but it also made him terribly afraid of failure. From a young age, he’d learned that with failure came pain. Still, he can’t help but play every once in a while.

“Oh,” Simon replies eloquently. Jace doesn’t blame him, he doesn’t know how to reply to that either. He’s not sure why he told Simon, it’s not like it affects his life much anymore. But he likes to be honest with Simon and knows what he says will stay between them. Most importantly, he knows Simon will not judge. 

“Whenever I would mess up,” Jace says, still looking at the keys and brushing them gently, not hard enough for them to make a noise. “Valentine would break the finger that pressed the wrong key. He would heal it with an iratze right after and the pain didn’t last long but - it still made sure that I wouldn’t be making that mistake again.”

Simon covers the hand Jace has on top of the keys with his own cold one, slotting his fingers between Jace’s and squeezing gently. Before they started dating, Jace had thought that a cold touch like that would feel weird or even unpleasant, but now those two things are the last thing in his mind. Instead he feels comfort and love. 

“Why do you still play?” Simon asks gently. It’s not an odd question to ask, but Jace isn’t sure if he can give a proper answer. There are days when he can’t even look at a piano without feeling sick to his stomach or be overcome with anxiety, but then there are days when he wants to feel the keys under his fingers and hear the beautiful melodies in his ears. Days like today.

“I guess I just want to be reminded that even if something was created with messed up ways, it can result in beautiful things, things that aren’t messed up or wrong but rather something good,” he tries to articulate his thoughts.

“I think that makes sense,” Simon says and Jace looks at him then. It feels like he’s staring right into Jace’s soul but Jace doesn’t feel uncomfortable. “I think all of us want to be reminded of that sometimes.”

And that reminds Jace that he’s not the only one in this relationship who ended up where he is through pain, both physical and mental. Simon might not have the exact same experiences as Jace has, but on some level he understands. He has not had an easy life either.

“Maybe,” Jace says and smiles a little. He doesn’t want the conversation to turn too sad. He doesn’t like to dwell on old things, and would much rather focus on here and now, where things are okay and he has a kind and loving boyfriend sitting next to him as he plays. He clears his throat before he speaks again.

“I might know how to play the piano but all I know are some boring classics,” he says and turns back to the piano, placing his other hand on top of the keys but letting the other stay under Simon’s. “Teach me one of your songs.”

Simon laughs lightly and lets Jace change the topic. Simon picks a song and starts teaching Jace, and soon they are attempting to play together.

This time, each mistake is met with a gentle hand that guides Jace's to the right keys.

**Author's Note:**

> More Jimon!! Sorry it's angsty again :D let me know what you think!!
> 
> You can find me from [tumblr](https://sugarandspace.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/sugarandspace_)!


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